Return All by Eve Dangerfield

Author:Eve Dangerfield [Dangerfield, Eve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Eve Dangerfield Books

16

Mara could barely string a sentence together. She wanted to call Chase, but things were still tense between them and she knew if she called, she’d tell him everything—her past, her parents, everything. She needed someone who already knew. Someone safe. Someone who couldn’t judge. And try as she might to think of anyone else, her mind kept circling to Derek. He was big and calm. He wouldn’t ask questions. He knew about her parents.

The letter he’d left with Chase at HFA lay unopened on her coffee table, and as she paced her house crying, her eyes returned to it again and again. As the hours slid by, all possibilities narrowed down to him. At nine o’clock, she gave in, snatching up her phone. She thought he’d make her wait, if only for subconscious revenge, but he picked up after the first ring. “Hey, baby.”

Mara almost burst into tears then and there. “Hi, Derek. It’s me.”

“I know. I’ve been thinking about you.” He gave a slow yawn and Mara could just see him piled on his couch in a big gray hoodie.

“Can I… can I come over to your place?”

There was a short silence. “I mean, fuck yeah. Now, you mean?”

“Yes. Now. What’s your address?”

“61 Larsen Lane. Richmond.” She heard him sit up. “It’s still raining. You sure you don’t want me to come to you?”

She looked around her living room with its Persian silk paintings and huge velvet couch. “No. I’ll drive over if that’s fine?”

“Of course. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine. I want to… hook up.”

She sounded ridiculous. Like a teenager planning a date with a fifty-year-old married guy. To Derek’s credit, he didn’t laugh. “We can do that.”

“I don’t want it to be nice,” she said quickly. “I don’t even want it to even be us, if that makes sense?”

“Okay.” Derek’s voice was low. “How not-nice do you want me to be?”

“Um… Remember the night on the hill? After you came back from the Adelaide exchange?”

She hoped he wouldn’t ask her to explain more—the way he’d left the car and came back a cruel stranger, making her cry out and plead until her whole body trembled.

“I remember. Safe word’s ‘magic?’”

“Yes. It’s ‘magic.’”

“Good. Come over.”

They ended the call. Mara didn’t exactly feel better, but she felt sharper. More focused. She tried to pick out a sexy outfit, but nothing worked. Eventually, she settled for jeans, her battered Prada sneakers, and her waterproof Max Mara jacket. Derek wouldn’t mind. He’d seen her in her hideous Albury Secondary uniform. Besides, she wouldn’t be dressed for long.

She passed Derek’s envelope on her way out and paused. On one hand, he might ask her about it. On the other, it might be heavy—an apology or pictures of them when they were young. Stuff she couldn’t handle on top of what was already happening. Whatever was in the letter, Derek hadn’t brought it up on the phone. Hopefully, that meant it wasn’t urgent.

Her car smelled like Pan. She drove with her mouth open, blinking fast so she wouldn’t cry.

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